Well That's ONE Way to Get Over It - DEATH

Twenty-six and single, I've accrued a few heartbreaks.  Not a whole lot.  But enough to know their's a pattern to how I handle dating.  It goes something like this:

--meet -- 

-- crush on (duration varies - I've been known to, I'm not embarrassed to say it, fantasize for yearzzz) -- --- first date --

-- if we've handled ourselves well…another -- 

-- then there's the month long anxiety (Dear boy, it's not me trying to play hard to get.  It's me being scared out of my mind so I'll subtly avoid you and then approach you a week after you keep wanting to do things).  This is what I also call the weeding out process.  Not a lot of guys have made it past this phase. Only the determined ones carry on -- 

-- and then there's the let's-try-this-out phase. Here, we're both expected to open up in such a way that only has room for vulnerability --

-- the UGLY comes from the striping of heart after exposure created from breaking down those walls necessary to get to the break-up point in the first place --

-- Escape into a new hobby --

Not every broken road warrants a hobby, but so far I have learned how to knit, make the world's best apple pie, triathlon, and quilt.

Now I'm having another go at it.  I've taken up rock climbing.  A bit more radical a thing from the others domestic pursuits - minus the triathlon and training.  The only problem with this distraction from heartache is the very high probability of DEATH.  It's one-thirds healthy, two-fifths bad-A, and seven-fifteenths terrifying!  This is a cray cray sport.  The Quarry is a room poxed of rock-climbing holds all trailing up to what looks like a forever high roof.  The grips channel up in varying degrees of difficulty construed of caddy-whompus shapes and colors.  I go with my friend Renee Harrison.  For those who care to know, this is Jamie Laugenour's sister.  She rocks the rock!  A stark contrast to shaky-kneed me, who after putting my harness on one leg at a time was corrected by the nearby belayer, "You have it on backwards."  Thank you sir.  It looked funny to me too. So far, my knots are staying put.  I haven't dropped my buddy yet.  And I am keeping myself busy focusing on saving my literal life instead of dwelling on my dead romantic one.

It's interesting.  Renee and I were discussing the confidence needed in climbing.  She feels most confident on the wall.  I feel most confident as belayer - the safety at the other end of the rope.  The words exchanged over the topic were brief, but the residual thoughts have accompanied me these last few days.  Maybe life is not this figurative, but I see this as a tell-all insight into my character.  I am insecure about my own strength.  I am fully capable of saving others, but how am I at saving myself? I feel blindsided by the thought.  Forgive the redundancy, but I've always been confident in my confidence.  Maybe this "break-up" from a relationship I thought I had wanted for so long, and this hobbyist's new adventure on the wall will help me discover what my strengths really are.  And trust myself for them. 

F=m.a=the worst

You know what happened? Physics happened.  It happened when my friend slammed on the brakes in his car and my seatbelt buckled. I hated myself for thinking about physics then. Physics happened when that football hit my face that same night (yup).  And physics happens every Tuesday and Thursday from 9:10 - 10:30 and twice a week in the physics lab when I find a spare SIX hours to do my homework.  Physics happened. And it happened again when I saw this video on facebook depicting the spawn of a Swedish thought, "helmets are ugly."  I've had that thought too.  But that's as far as I went with it.  But these Swedes made it into a 7 year challenge.

Watch it:

http://vimeo.com/43038579


Woah! I thought.  I want one of dem. But then physics happened, again.  Is this even safe?  That's a lot of pressure blasting out your neck. This is just me thinking about the worst scenario involving heads popping out of their anterior portions - the homologues of the rib in the thoracic region.  Just made that up.    But seriously.  Is this even FDA approved?  Do they approve things other than food and drugs?  If not, who does?  SO MANY QUESTIONS!  That's why I've asked my professor.  Best case scenario, he turns this video into word problem.  We figure it out in class.  I see it on the final.  Get an A.  Win forever.  However, I just threw up in my mouth looking back and seeing that the "best case scenario" in my life right now involves physics problems.  Y Jole (or however you spell that).

Purpose

Sometimes I like to wear my "I <3 Cupcakes" t-shirt while I'm running, just so I can remember why I'm running. That's all.

{Bobby Pins}

What's the deal Bobby?!  You're there for me in the morning, but then when I set you down at night, there's no sign of you at sunrise.  I'm like a one night strand. (Too Cheesy? Hmm...Might regret it later.  But the pun was just too irresistible.  It's a good thing no one reads these posts). It's getting to be ridiculous.  Just come back to me Bobby.

You know the question, "How do you solve a problem like Maria?"  from the beloved Sound of Music?  "How do you catch a cloud and pin it down."  So "how do you make her stay, and listen to all you say?  How do you catch a wave upon the sand?"  That's kinda what I'm feeling about the bobby pin.  It's evoked a nun's frustration in me..."Bobby pin, how do I keep from losing you?"  Seriously!  I just bought like 300 of you last month.  I THOUGHT I was being good at putting you back in my ceramic bowl at night.  What the heck?! You're not in my pant's pocket.  You're not on the floor.  Not on the bathroom sink.  Not under my pillow.  If I'm lucky, you've made friends with the crumbs and gum wrappers in the corner of my purse.  But you're not in my make-up bag.  You're on my sister's windowsill, but you just make a liar and a thief out of me there.  Bobby!  You're killing me.

I lived with 5 other girls for most of my college experience. It was fantastic. Bobby pins EVER-Y-WHERE. Every five steps, a bobby with out fail.  Running out the door??  Not a problem.  Three bobbs waiting.  Haven't put your contacts in yet?  No worries!  Just squat down where you stand, run your hands on the carpet and feel your way to a bobby pin.  And some days, if you were really lucky, it was possible to run into multiple bobbies linked together.  Those were special times. I miss you bobby.

My Bucket List. Electronicalized.

I don't know why I do, but I keep my bucket list on a repeatedly folded sheet of paper tucked away in my already overly cluttered wallet.  The piece of paper containing the list was created on Word Document.  Nothing special. But for appearance sake, I added simple black border encasing the once empty white-space -  thank you 4th grade poetry book assignment.  Learning how to use those borders have stamped the "+" on many a English grade many a semester -  And in the lower left corner I have "artistically" placed the title "THE BUCKET LIST."  Yes.  In all caps.  I think I'm so artsy fartsy sometimes.

Of course, I rarely look at my bucket list.  I rarely look at anything in my wallet (hence the cluttered comment earlier).  But I keep it in there nonetheless for those freakish moments when adventure and spice of life come calling.  Here are the cries to vivacity:

(Obviously not in order.  I would hate to be judged on what I find most important on this list)

• Hike on the John Muir Trail
• Own a Garage Doors Incorporated garage door
• Stay at the Opryland Hotel
• Order Everything on the TacoBell menu in one sitting ( as of 6/19/13 that would total $320.10...I think I'll invite a couple friends to help eat over $300 worth of food...maybe...)
• Get a Hickey on Hickey Road in San Francisco (side note:  I have never actually been on Hickey Road.  If it is at all sketchy FORGET IT!)
• Do the Alfred Hitchcock tour in San Francisco
• Learn to play the violin - well enough to play in Sacrament meeting (but of course my supreme abilities will be kept from society so as NOT to play in Sacrament meeting.  MR. Flute, I've learned my lesson)
• Climb a volcano - sleeping, obviously
• Go see U.S.S. Arizona @ Pearl Harbor
• Watch a hockey game in a Canadian Bar
• Learn how to reupholster furniture
• Make French/White Bread successfully (I've had many failed attempts.  Stupid Beast Yeast!)
• Collect a jar of black sand from Vik Beach, Iceland
• Get a love song from Delilah 94.5 KBAY on engagement night.  I am still trying to decide whether to call her before anyone else.  I imagine there would be great satisfaction in saying "We just got engaged Delilah, and you're the first to know! Now pick us out a love song woman!"
• Learn Morse Code with my significant other so when we're hanging with friends or in a crowded room, we can one up everyone with our secrets
• Snow mobile the Norway-Sweden border
• Witness a tornado 
• Pan for gold.  Find some gold flakes.  Put those gold flakes in a Medallion.  Wear my Medallion. Boast to everyone.
• TBD
• TBD
• TBD time Infinity

Bucket List bloggified.  Check!